Some notes on Christmas dinner, because everyone likes being told how to do that, plus a chowder so good it will make you reassess your religious beliefs.
Smoked salmon and shrimp chowder
Lasagne with sardines
I'll be moving out soon, but no one will ever be able to say I never made a lasagne here.
That’s so ramen
In lockdown, things to look forward to are vital. Lunch is one. The delivery of whatever useless tat you've been suckered into buying online is another.
Homemade pizza
There's a lockdown trend afoot: recreating fast food at home. You can imitate the meal, but there's no substitute for the shame.
Chicken shawarma with flatbreads and cauliflower slaw
Good Friday proves my best lockdown day so far, better even than the one when Amazon delivered my new four-socket surge-protected extension lead.
Apocalypse chilli
A week before lockdown is announced there are rumours it's coming. I go out to buy food, feeling panicked, though it goes without saying I'm not panic-buying.
Garlic chutney chicken
My most long-term fridge resident, the jar of Tesco Finest garlic chutney, has finally moved on to better things.
The noodle and the damage done
I am happy to announce that I have invented what I call the "stir" "fry", a meal composed entirely of – and this is the clever bit – things you have fried while stirring. The stirring is key, because otherwise the things will burn.
Chicken and sweetcorn soup and a dog
DISCLAIMER: no dogs were cooked in the preparation of this meal. Though I did come close.
Jollof rice and chicken
I have never to my knowledge eaten any Nigerian food, but it sounds like it involves big piles of chicken and rice, which is very much in my wheelhouse. I decide to eat some.
Shove a Lemon Up It 