Homemade pizza

There's a lockdown trend afoot: recreating fast food at home. You can imitate the meal, but there's no substitute for the shame.

Apocalypse chilli

A week before lockdown is announced there are rumours it's coming. I go out to buy food, feeling panicked, though it goes without saying I'm not panic-buying.

Pasta puttanesca bake

I thought I'd invented this, but then it turned out it was something I'd bastardised from another recipe years ago. I did come up with the idea of turning it into a bake, though, so effectively I invented the concept of putting a load of cheese on top of something and putting it in the oven. You can't take that away from me, BLAIR.

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